One of a Kind Picnic Trip

Wife: Honey! Would you prefer peanuts or almonds?

Husband: I don’t know. I don’t like either.

Wife: Ok I guess I will pack both for myself. I’ll get some Chilghozay (pine nuts) for you. Would that be ok?

Husband: Sure.

Wife: Hmm I need my muffler. It could get really cold like the other night. Should I pack one for you? It would keep you warm.

Husband: Don’t know.

Wife: Ok I’ll pack one anyway. And I’m also taking an extra sweater for myself. I think your jacket is already in the car, right?

Husband: Hmm yeah.

Wife: Would you need anything else? Think, think, think!

Husband: Nope.

Wife: Let me think if I’d need anything else. I’ll take my knitting, in case there is a long wait. Should I take some sweets and toffees also? Or perhaps some crisps and biscuits? Are there any bananas in the kitchen?

Husband: Forget them dear and lets go now.

Some Random Relative: Looks like you guys have packed for an overnight picnic trip? Where are you going?

Husband & Wife: To get CNG! 

*GIGGLES* 

PS: I wonder how many people would relate to this. ;-)

Dulha Tayyar Kea Jata Hai

Hair Dresser - Dulha Tayyar Kea Jata Hai Originally uploaded by Monazza Talha

Hoshiyar, Khabardar - Zimadari dulha tayyar kernay tak mehduud hai. Baad kay kisi nuqsaan ka idara zimadar na ho ga. Apni zimadari per dulha tayyar kervaaeay. Shukria

Manjanib - Sakoon Hair Dresser

After reading this display of this one additional service provided by the hair dresser (as seen in the picture above), i just couldn't stop laughing. I know that just like brides, grooms also get themselves ready from a "parlour" or "salon". But the wording was just hilarious. Apologies to the ones who can't read Urdu. Hope the rest can fully enjoy the picture and the photographed writings. :-) *giggles*

PS: The disclaimer in italics was a creation of my own naughty mind. The Hair Dresser had nothing to do with it.  Iss paigham kee waja say honay walay har qisam kay nuqsan kee zimadari fidvi ko qabool hai. *giggles*

Ghost Writing Equivalent to Plagiarism?

I friend of mine recently made a point that I should not project myself as a “plagiarist”. She added that since ghost writing is like steeling, it is nothing but plagiarism. She also said that she considered me to be an honest person and did not think I would EVER do such a dreadful act. (She was reading my Intro on this blog of mine.)

For me ghost writing is any piece of text that you create with which you cannot tag your name to acknowledge the world of the authorship.

When I think of Ghost Writing, several things come to my mind that can be considered so (some help taken from Wikipedia's topic "Ghostwriter" in compiling my following list):

• Writing articles for a blog or publication.
• Contributing to a book.
• Helping someone not good in a language to express their ideas in a decent way (for a blog, or forum, or Facebook status etc).
• Drafting or editing somebody's autobiography
• Preparing a speech or public statement for a politician.
• Preparing a presentation for an administrative or managerial person.
• Writing profession or career based articles for consultants of respective domain.
• Preparing a technical document for a client.
• Compiling a project proposal for someone.

I consider all of the above points ethical and am willing to indulge in this, provided I am not exploited to do so. If due compensation is paid, I would be more than happy to do any and all of the above (and more too).

Now I can think of some other ghost writing tasks also that are unethical in my opinion: 

• Writing a thesis for a student.
• Preparing a paper or report for a student.
• Doing an assignment for a school, college or university student. 

I never have done this and nor do I plan to do so even if it is a highly paid job.

People are ghosting almost all the time. The work we do in our office is not always tagged with our name. Artisans who prepare beautiful items seldom carve or embroider their names on each masterpiece they create. I have never seen workmen like carpenters, tailors, carpet weavers and cooks leaving their initials on the items they prepare and the work they do. The compensation everybody is getting in almost all of these cases is monetary. People are getting paid to do all this. They are providing their expertise and creating their respective contributory substances in exchange for wages or payments. We can’t label all these and similar people “plagiarists”, now can we?

Anybody can have their own views about anything. And mine about ghost writing are that it is not equivalent to ‘plagiarism’. One just needs to set the right ethical limits according to one's beliefs.

I finally Blogged!

I finally blogged today, after a hiatus of many months and took some pictures too! Yay!

I took some pictures. Used those pictures in a blog. Am using that blog link here to increase my post count on this blog also. (How clever of me!) Will share this post on my Facebook to increase viewership and my blog visit count. (How super genius of me!) And someone might share my Facebook post on their timeline and their friends would read and re-share the link. And this might go on and on and on till the traffic on my blog would crash the visit counter and servers. And then i would be featured on notable forums for causing such a chaos. And i would feel so proud. And then and then and then.........and then i would roll over, fall from my bed with a great thud and wake up. *Ooppss*

Oh i almost forgot to share the link of that blog. Here goes ;-)

http://islamabad.metblogs.com/?p=3336

Masoom Sharaa'it

(Originally published on Facebook Notes on September 10, 2009.)

 

Kaam Asaan Ho
Ho ja'ay, chahay jahan bhi dehan ho

Dimagh ka kharach ho kam say kam
Warna roth kay bath ja'ain gay hum

Koi muddat muqarrar na ho us ki
Chahay abhi ker dain, chahay badd aik sadi

Ghalti ke gunjaish barabar mojuud rahay
Farishtay to nahe akhar ko hum insaan hain

Manzuur hoon ye sharaa'it to theek hai
Wagarna hum bhi banday baray shareer hain
 

{These are the terms a person is dictating to a manager about the kind of work to be assigned. Read and enjoy!}

 

Stop Sending Me Random Messages, O Random Stranger

IMPORTANT: My family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances, who forward text messages (SMS) to me are not supposed to take this piece of writing personally because it is NOT about them :-) Some other “menace” has been addressed here.

Oh I wonder how much time do these “idiots” have to pointlessly spare; and also how much money do they have to spend. They keep sending text messages, day in and day out, regularly, without fail; and lots of them (they flood the tiny memory of my mobile phone). The length of one message could even extend up to 4 or 5 text messages (or even more, gosh!). They never fail to say Good Morning to you. They tuck you in your bed at night with the Good Night message. Occasionally there are Good Afternoon and Good Evening messages as well. Sometimes there is a quote and sometimes the message contains poetry. The limits are crossed when such imbeciles send religious messages. Are they trying to prove their piety or something to me? But WHY?

Who the hell ARE these people? They are not family. They are not friends. They are not colleagues. They are not even acquaintances. I don’t even know them. They probably also don’t know me. They are just some random strangers who accidentally came to know that a particular mobile number belongs to a female (am cursing all those moments when I picked up the phone even when I saw an “unknown” number flashing on the screen; thinking they could be someone I know who changed their number; or thinking it could be an interview call or a reminder to pay my Internet dues or a call from my photographer about the photos).

I wonder what pleasure do these people get out of mass messaging to random females in the cellular sphere. Those messages only get deleted instantly, followed by uttering of some heavenly adjectives in honour of the random sender.

Many of you would be thinking of me as a fool and wondering why have not subscribed to any “blocking service” yet. To set the fact straight, well I have subscribed. With a heavy heart I let that service deduct monthly charges too *gulp*. But they allow me to block only a handful of numbers. And in the community where every individual possesses a big handful of SIMs themselves, it is hard to fit them all in the block list. My limit is already used up! Aaaaarghhhh!

I don’t want to throw my mobile phone away. I don’t want to close my mobile connections and cut off ties from the world from this mode of communication. I don’t want to put my phone on silent at night so that a random message from a random sender sent at an ungodly hour could wake me (and my roommates) up. I don’t want to keep using my precious adjectives in honour of the senders (I am running out of words now!).

But I REALLY DO want to get rid of these random messages. Really truly madly deeply! Yes I do! Please tell me what can I do. But don’t send me suggestions from “new” or “changed” cell numbers; or I will accidentally brand you as brazen like the ones who are not being named but are being discussed here *giggles*

When Ideas Flow, You Glow; But Jot Them & Don’t Let Them Go

One thing I have learnt while “writing”, “blogging” or “trying to write” is that there are times when bursts of ideas are crossing my mind. And then there are silent times when I am not able to write even a single straight worthwhile sentence. The times when the mind is blocked are painful. But the key is not to get depressed. Instead one should try to cash the moments when brainwaves, thoughts, words and phrases are flowing.

To benefit from my “fertile moments”, what I do is that I keep making a list of blog ideas. This list grows with time. Whenever I think of something to write about, I jot it down so that even if I am short of time at that moment to expand the idea, at least it is preserved. I have made endless lists like that so far and it feels like I have a treasure of inspiration to last me a life time of writing.

Here, a word of caution needs to be uttered. Just as food goes stale when kept in the refrigerator for a long time, ideas also decay like this if kept unattended for long periods of time. I have gone through the routine of house cleaning several times myself. Many a times it has happened that if I kept a list for a long time, I completely forgot the purpose of the listed topics and the supporting spark to convert them into meaningful pieces.

So keep writing ideas down so that they are documented and not lost in the mist. Hit while the iron is hard and your brain is on fire. But attend to your ideas timely as well so that they don’t turn to dust.

My Writing Spree - What would my Mother say?

The way my writing progress is declining, I believe that I will never be able to write like Stephen King. I again took a non deliberate day off yesterday from the writing and now I am cooking up ways to cope. When will my break come when I will be a famous writer? :-P

Had I said this in front of my Mother, she would have given me a sarcastic teasing stare. She knows I am master of making castles in the air so with the piercing stare she would have added some remarks to match. Her words at least make me realise that only thinking, wondering and wishing will not do the trick. Someone will not hand over the desired success to me decorated in a platter. I will have to fight for it, struggle for it and earn it. Only when I put my sweat, blood, energy and effort into something; it will come true.

And I know that this is absolutely true!

My Fluctuating Writing Spree

(Actually written today, on May 20, 2012 *wink*)

After writing about 960 words on May 16, 2012 (after getting inspired by Stephen King) I had an unintentional day off on the next day. And then after writing about 490 words on May 18, 2012 I again had a “blank” day the day after. Now on May 20, 2012, I have again set out to “write”. But judging from the previous progress, it seems that I am not going to be able to write more than a hundred words.

The progress is witnessing a downfall even before rising to a healthy level. It is not good, not good at all. But at least I am writing and not giving up on it. *wink*

I love writing. I know I do. I have been loving it since very early childhood. It is in my bones. I have been making up stories (though boring), composing essays and writing little poems (some were good) for a very long time. Due to the love of writing, I was an avid letter writer as well (thanks to Ammi for introducing this habit) and later in my life a keen e-mail writer too.  So I am sure that a little motivation and a dash of persistence is going to work wonders for my writing. I may even be able to write a book some day; which is my wish since my early days.

The writing spree may be fluctuating for now, but I am sure that it will resonate to very high levels really soon. *wink wink*

My Writing Spree Progress

(Actually written on May 18, 2012)

I was highly charged and motivated to start “writing” again on May 16, 2012 after reading the article about Stephen King. The progress that day was lovely. I didn’t reach my 2000 word limit for that day but I was happy with everything that I wrote. I was so excited that ideas were automatically flowing into my mind. It was actually hard keeping track of all of them.

Then the next day there was dead silence. By dead I mean DEAD. I didn’t write a word (off course except for the office work I did). Perhaps things were not totally dead as some ideas still tried to jolt me and move me to write. I even tried doing it but could not succeed due to the busy schedule.

Today I forced myself to open a word processor file and start typing something. I didn’t want the tiny spark to die out before getting lit up to full swing. So here I am, writing gibberish. But I am loving it! *wink*

How We Came to be Litterers?

On my way to the office, while passing through the same routes, I realised how dirty the roads were. Trash was stacked and spilled everywhere. There was no wall that did not have a heap of litter thrown beside it. There was no empty plot of land that was clean and was not laden with rubbish. The overall look of all the places was dusty, dirty, messy and highly unhygienic.

Seeing all this, one question rang in my mind. I thought that the majority of population of Pakistan is Muslim. Muslims believe that “Cleanliness is half Deen”. So if majority of us is Muslim with this belief, then from where did the habit of littering creep in our society? It is not a new thing either. I have been witnessing this kind of behaviour by my fellow country people since my childhood. And my parents have witnessed this too since their early days.

We attribute many of the habits and cultures of Pakistan to the Hindus of Indo-Pak Sub-continent. We have a staunch belief that we have acquired many of these traits from Hindus since our communities have lived so closely for so many years. But I wonder to whom and to which community we can attribute our acquired habit of “littering”.

I keep wondering and wondering and wondering and wondering some more that how we came to be litterers.

My Writing Spree

 (Actually written on May 16, 2012)

Many months (or perhaps a year) ago, I read an article “Write Like Stephen King: 10 Ways to Write 2,000 Words a Day”. I was amazed to see that Stephen King could write so much in one day. The article was wonderfully written too. After reading it I was highly motivated to follow in the footsteps. I made a plan and started off doing my bundles of words regularly per day. Unfortunately I could not keep up with the routine and was off track only after a few days.

Yesterday I recalled that article once again. I looked it up on the Internet, read it and got fresh motivation from it. After reading it I again made a plan to write regularly even if I could not reach the 2000 words limit.

So here I am on my writing spree, writing away on my laptop. The good thing for me is that I even have an idea or two in mind on which I plan to write. It seems to be a good start. I only hope that it persists for a significant amount of time.

Those Dark Gloomy Days

Whether I post anything on my blog or not, I regularly, rather daily check the visitor stats for it. Even if there is a single visit to the web site, I am content. If there are more I am pleased. If there are more than five visits I am overwhelmed. But the five visits are from the same person, I get quite depressed and wonder who that person is and does that person have nothing better to do than to check my “silly” blog again and again.

Likewise, is there are no visit to my site on any day, I feel gloomy. I feel as if I am alone in the whole wide world and nobody cares about me. This feeling lasts for a fraction of second and then I move on to something else *wink* But recently I noticed that there was no visit to my site for three consecutive days. May 14, 15 and 16 were the gloomy dark days for my blog and myself. Not a single soul passed by the only lonely cluster of writings by Monazza. It was depressing indeed.

I know that nobody had much reason to visit. Even the regular visitors had no reason to visit since nothing was posted there for a really long time. But at least an accidental random visitor could have stumbled upon my space on the WWW. But nobody came during those three days.

I was nearing slipping into a state of deep trauma or a deep slumber of 100 years; only to be woken by the kiss (or “click”) of true love; when suddenly an angel accessed the blog on May 17. I returned from my state of semi-trauma with a gasp. I ogled at the visit stat for a long time, like a wonder struck person, as if seeing that for the first time.

And then in a few seconds I moved on to something else. *wink*

Lazy Me

I know i can handle completion of many more tasks than i am currently doing. I know my to-do can expand much more. But i am going through a strange phase. After doing just a couple of things i feel that i have done more than enough. I tire and i get exhausted. And i get lazier, and lazier and lazier. But i think i kind of "like" this lazy feeling ;-) Hope the people around me keep bearing this "queenly" behaviour of mine a bit longer and keep up with it a bit more. *giggles* 

Biker Boy Buddy's Article Writer Helper

Yes this me, alright. I am the buddy of a biker boy. Though i have never "ridden" a bike with him, i have "written" an article with him. He was the master mind behind it as he not only provided all the first hand information but also collaborated with several famous bikers of Pakistan to get more authentic information. I took all the information and tried to weave it into something worthwhile. 

The time during which we were working on it was really tough. We had to manage completing it side by side with our full time jobs. I for one really had to move my lazy (and tired) behind and get it to work. We had to take time extensions at least twice (or was it thrice?). But finally we managed to complete it. There was a flood of words that made the article exceeded the word limit (by not hundreds but thousands *giggles*).

Once the words were written, my buddy studded the article with his lovely photographs. He had contacted several other photographers for their photos too, but the response was not very good. So the handful of pictures that he received from other photogs, he added those to the article. 

The article was published in xBHP Extra Braking Horse Power magazine of India. 

Scanned pages of the magazine can be seen and read here: 

xBHP Article: http://www.pakwheels.com/forums/news-articles-driver-education-safety/186928-xbhp-india-pakistan-motorcycle-superbiking-complete-history-scan-e-copies#post3245788

It was a great achievement for us. Perhaps no one can imagine our feelings from that specific moment when the printed copy of the magazine came in our hands. Hope you all had a good read! :-)

The Prime Minister and his Numb Nation

Once upon a time there was a country whose Prime Minister had to go to the Courts on charges of contempt of court. He thought to postpone the trip. But then suddenly decided that he will go. He lived next to the court house. All he had to do was get out of one building and get in the next one (almost). Had he walked, it would have taken him 15 min. But he decided he wanted to move on four wheels.

When he insisted on going in a car, several other cars had to be made ready. After all he was the Prime Minister and couldn't afford to be seen in public without his huge entourage of vehicles. Precious liquid was pumped in the vehicles so that they could make the "long" journey.

The path was pretty straight forward, just like a straight line. But covering that distance would have been without any commotion. This was once again against his high stature. How could this be that he was on the roads and there was no turmoil. To please "his highness", the authorities cooked up a delicious plan and excellently executed it too. They started blocking roads that were far away from the Prime Minister's actual path. Bottle-necks were created so that traffic could only trickle through. Compulsive behaviours and actions of frustrated drivers was inevitable. Still these road blocking measure were executed with full force.

Unsuspecting drivers slowly started getting trapped in the ocean of vehicles. There was not even any way to turn back to escape for the poor souls. Hues and cries of the people could not be heard but strongly felt. These seemed to be fuelling powers of the Prime Minister, making him feel good and stronger and not to mention "happier". His happiness could be spotted from miles away due to the 32 "white bulb" pearly smile plastered ALL OVER his face. *twinkle*

The Prime Minister also wanted some drama in the skies. For his pleasure the skies were studded with hoovering air crafts that continuously went round and round a round and round. *head spinning*

After getting so much fuel burnt as well as the hearts of the masses, the Prime Minister returned from the courts (this time smiling a little less) after taking a few days stay. The poor people remained badly trapped in traffic while the Prime Minister happily returned home, like a conqueror.

Even after many hours of the little "outing" of the Prime Minister, his people remained tortured, pestered and beaten. But this did not bother him one bit. He kept smiling and while smiling went to bed to have a good night's sleep; his conscience crystal clear.

That Prime Minister lived to rule the country for many years to come. Such episodes became a norm to which the people adapted really well. The people got used to this nuisance so much that they would feel "bored" if such an activity did not occur after every few days.

Due to such numbness of people, the Prime Minister thrived. Not only him but many of his coming generations lived happily ever after in the same country enjoying the same grandeur.

Moral: If you shut down your minds, you will turn numb. If you become numb, inflicted pain will not be felt. If pain is not felt, you will stay calm. If you stay calm, the rulers will conveniently continue sucking your blood and flourishing.

Another Moral: If you do not wish to be a delectable delight for the vampire-like, blood sucking leaders, PLEASE WAKE UP!

Annihilation of Footprints

All people that come into your life leave footprints all over. The stronger the bond with the person, the stronger would be the footprint. When any of those people play a bad role and act as villains, you need to eradicate their presence from your precious life. You can successfully achieve this as well. But it is a harsh reality that trying to eradicate their footprints is next to impossible. They diminish over time, but stay engraved on the delicate leaves of your life. You keep wishing for those specific leaves to fall off the tree, but in vain.

I wish there is some way to make the footprint engravings of the wonderful ones deeper. I wish there is some way to annihilate the footprints of the baddies.

How to Make the Alphabet Soup!

After the raging success of "Alphabet Soup" amongst the masses, the "chef" decided to let everybody in on the recipe. It is pretty easy to make and there is no chance of error. Do as follows:

1. Acquire a document with extension as ".doc". 

2. Open this document using "KWord". 

3. Do a "Save As" and save the document with a different name. 

4. Make sure the newly saved file has extension as ".odt". 

5. Close the file and re-open in "LibreOffice Writer". The text would look a bit widely spaced. Think that perhaps this re-created file is not compatible with this program. 

*Drum Roll*

6. Open the file (with .odt extention) again in KWord. 

Wallah! The scrumptious, visually appealing (you may chose to differ from this opinion *wink*) Alphabet Soup would be ready. Consume it at your own pace and enjoy!

Disclaimer: If you feel the need to pull out your hair, break the computer, bang your head against the wall or do anything outrageous after seeing the "soup", this blogger cannot be held responsible. :-P