23 March – Then and Now: As I Remember It and As I Want It To Be

When I was a little girl (and a bit older), 23 March (Pakistan Day) used to be a whole lot different than what it has been for a few years. I remember being very excited to see the march past of the armed forces on PTV. For that I would wake up around 8:30 a.m. so that not a second of it is missed. I would sit through the whole session of the parade; till the very end when the last of the last floats, representing the different provinces of Pakistan, would pass by on the screen. The fly past also used to be one of the most exciting moments which I loved to watch. The fighter planes leaving trails of coloured (or white) smoke behind, while doing acrobats in the air was nothing less than magnificent. Only after several hours of staring at the TV and watching the concluding moments would I leave the sight of the screen. I even used to have the wish to watch this whole parade live and got a chance once too.

Apart from watching this march past, I remember having a warm and exciting feeling on that day. I used to feel so proud of the armed forces. I used to feel so elevated about my country Pakistan. I used to be beaming with pride and energy on that day; and had loads and loads of pure happy feelings and good vibes.

Now (for the past few years) the only happiness I get from 23 March is that it is a holiday. The pride for the armed forces has left my heart completely. That loving warm feeling has been replaced by extreme hatred and anger (yes for the armed forces). I am no longer bothered if there is going to be a march past or not. And even if there was one, I wouldn’t be bothered to see it even for a minute. I can only think of the sufferings of my country men and think of ways to be able to help. I think how the army has destroyed its image in the eyes of most Pakistani people and wonder if it would ever regain its glory. I also think of the high class leaders in whose hands the fate of my country rocks. I wonder if we would ever be able to get rid of them. All the TV programs blurting out national anthems and talking of the glory of this day feel only like eyewash for the masses. It seems like the media is ticking one more event off its list of coverage. Everything seems so artificial.

I long for my childhood-like 23 March to return where feelings were pure, pride for the armed forces was in our hearts, TV programs commemorating this day actually had a message to deliver, and most of all everybody was proud to be a Pakistani and optimism was in the air.

I Think: Desire for Perfection

Sometimes the desire for perfection can lead you astray where you end up doing absolutely nothing, let alone something perfect.